AccountLive from the slopes: Bartholomew vs Peanut
2 minute read
Derreck Dog | Sports Editor
On your marks, get set…
Snow is falling, spirits are high, and the Jelly Journal brings you live reporting from the slopes, where our two competitors are getting ready for the biggest snowboard cross of the year.
On the left, Bartholomew Bear ‘Snow Suit’: looking a little nervous behind those goggles, receiving a last-minute pep talk from best friend – and ski-slope legend – Bashful Bunny.
On the right, Amuseables Peanut ‘Après Ski’: fizzing with excitement, Amuseables Bean beside him, giant foam finger wobbling on his head.
“And they’re off!”
Peanut launches himself down the slope with the enthusiasm of a squirrel discovering double espresso. Bartholomew joins moments later, his pre-race nerves melting away as he finds his groove.
Both gain speed. Snow flies. The crowd roars—
What’s this? Peanut, attempting a triple backflip? On a piste like this?! Surely not – oh, but he is!
“Ladies and gentleman, we have a wipeout.”
Newly upside-down in a snowdrift, Peanut looks delighted. Bean equally so.
Meanwhile, Bartholomew is executing a perfect swing turn: a masterclass in careful courage, earning applause from Amuseables Toastie Pink and White Marshmallows in the stalls.
He clears the finish line – and just like that – we have our champion!
Two athletes, two philosophies: one believing gravity is a suggestion, the other in conquering nerves one turn at a time.
A race of wild contrast. Exhausting but thoroughly entertaining.
Now, this Sports Editor needs a sit down and a glass of something warm…
