The Wildwood Cup

Derreck Dog | Sports Editor

A game of two halves.

Tickets to the Wildwood Cup are notoriously difficult to secure. The waiting list stretches deep into the forest – all the way round the river bend – and at least halfway up a mountain. 

Fortunately, the Jelly Journal’s Sports Editor, Derreck Dog, knew just who to call… 

Ever since he retrieved Amuseables Sports Walston Whistle’s ball (after that penalty kick went spectacularly wide), Derreck had been waiting for the right moment to cash in his favour. 

This was that moment.

Held in a secret location 'known only to officials and within certain exclusive toadstool circles, the Wildwood Cup attracts spectators from across the forest. This year’s contestants faced three challenges: an obstacle course, a wheelbarrow race, and a downhill sprint to the finish line.  

Pulse-racing stuff.

Under the watchful eyes of referees Amuseables Sports Fowla Red Card and Warni Yellow Card, the participants – Amuseables S’mores, Ort and Tum Acorns and the Trixiwoo Raccoon twins – lined up at the starting block. 

S’mores looked like early favourites in the obstacle course. Their undoing turned out not to be a log, a tunnel or a rope swing, but a fork in the path. (Being attached to your teammate has many advantages. This was not one of them.)

The wheelbarrow race, however, belonged to the Trixiwoo twins. Quick on their feet and mischief-makers by nature, they tore ahead – *until * Warni Yellow Card noticed they had acquired an actual wheelbarrow. 

“Cheating? Us? You’re having a laugh, Ref.”

“Consult the VAR!”

Fowla Red Card was eventually called over. One stern eyebrow waggle later, and the rules were followed for the rest of the afternoon.

Ort and Tum Acorns saved their strongest performance for the downhill sprint. Once they got rolling, they were impossible to catch… but found it increasingly difficult to steer. The pair raced past the competition, overshot a turning – and disappeared into a bush.

But when the finish line finally came into view, every duo crossed it together. Derreck decided that’s the whole joy of having a teammate: somebody to share the experience with. And, occasionally, a hedge with.