Turtles today…

A letter from Timmy Turtle.

Dear Jelly Journal Editor,

Following my post-holiday note, I am writing to register yet another complaint, this time regarding the current state of turtles today. Specifically, their *music. *  

You can’t beat the classics. ‘The Turtle Necks’, for instance – they’ve been around for centuries, and only improve with age. And, as I stressed in my Christmas complaint letter: music should be vinyl. Simple. Crackly. Tactile. I like to know where my sound is coming from.

Imagine, then, my feelings when my younger sister Thimble Turtle arrived with headphones (wireless!), a mix deck (electronic!), and something she insists on calling T-Pop. As a genre, it is upsettingly upbeat. 

I am not alone in this. Ricky Rain Frog agrees – though his tastes skew more orchestral, which I find too dramatic for a weekday. We may disagree on tempo, but we are united on the larger issue: that modern music lacks gumption.

Worse still, T-Pop is persistent. It is engineered to wriggle its way into places where it has no business being. I encountered it in the shower, while queueing for the kettle to boil, and again while attempting to write this letter. It repeats on a loop like a faulty turntable, only louder. I even caught myself humming it earlier – in public! Thimble says she “knew I’d come around”. Give me strength.

My sister, for her part, remains unapologetic. She is all confidence, mischief, and big ideas, and she insists this is what the future sounds like. I have told her that the future could stand to lower the volume.

Still.

I suppose every generation has its quirks. Perhaps turtles today are simply different. Faster. Bip-boppier. 

(I will, however, say this: if that T-Pop song follows me into next week, I shall be filing a second letter.)

Regards,
Timmy Turtle